Life Points #001

Now that I've become a "gamer"... (moment of pause) if I were to spin around real fast and slur my speech it would sound like "Gay Mare", which for some reason strikes me as funny ( chuckle ), … I have to take in to consideration what games to buy and how much I can spend. Games as you all know are ridiculously expensive. And if you don't do your homework then you will never get the amount of fun and time spent back from your investment.

I'm a bit of a biddy when it comes to buying stuff like games. I gave myself permission to buy one super new and super exciting game, right up front. But all of my games since have been used and heavily discounted.

I've exhaustively scoped out all of the online options. I've checked out all of the gaming chains and video shops in my area. I've looked at the ratings of all of the games I'm interested. I've read lists and lists of which games are regarded as the BEST.

One of the beauties of coming into gaming so far behind everyone else is that I get so much free intel on everything. I also get discounts on all of the best games have been around for a while. I get to see which games have stood up to the test of time. That will naturally balance itself out as I become more and more wizened and up to date on these things but it's pretty fun catching up.

So here are the games I have in order of how much I seem to play them.

1. NBA 2K9 - I bought this at Blockbusters for $10 in a used bin. I wasn't planning to enjoy any Sports Games but this one has such detail and manages to give me the perception of having just enough control over the überly defined and realistic players to allow me to imagine I'm actually as good as I think I am. I play a full game here and there just to unwind. The sucky part is that I've gotten so good at being the Jazz and yet the Jazz will never be as good as me.

2. Bioshock - I bought this new but it was $20 at Best Buy. I needed an adventure game that was similar to the last computer game I bought, American McGee's Alice. It's paid off as well. Having super natural powers mixed with heavy weapons is a nice balance. And the world they've created is pretty lush and interesting. The story hasn't drawn me in too much but the setting and design draw me in that way.

3. inFamous - I bought this one used for $30 (which is a really good price because it's still fairly new and popular. This is one of those action games where you are jumping from building to building in what they call a "sandbox" environment (an environment where you can just explore an entire city with minimal restraint). The super powers and the loose story and the game play makes this one of my favorites. Sadly the saving mechanism doesn't always save me where I want to be saved. So it has dropped just a little in the list. But truthfully, this might be my favorite game at the moment.

4. Top Spin (Tennis) - I love tennis. I really wanted a tennis game. I found this one for $7 at Blockbuster. It's not as simple as pushing a button to hit the ball. They make you time it and give you a lot of control with each swing. It's fun but the awkwardness of pressing the button long before the ball hits your racket has made this overly awkward. I'll get used to it and it will probably be months of good times as I work my way up the rankings. But for now it's on the back burners.

5. Assasin's Creed 2 - No, I'm not saying this is my least favorite. In fact I haven't even played this one yet. I bought it for full price ( $60 ) at Best Buy. Everyone online is saying this is one of the seasons best games. From the trailers online it's definitely a gorgeous game. It's not that I'm not anxious to play it, it's just that I haven't started it because I'm planning to play it with my new girlfriend. As I've mentioned, she's a bit of a gamer as well. I don't know how hardcore she is these days but I thought it would be fun to have a game that she and I could work together on.

So there it is. My games for the season. Things I would like are on my Amazon Wish List ( located to the right ---> over here somewhere, if you'd like to buy me something ).

I'm trading in my TV watching for game playing it seems. I can't decide if that's a good thing or not.

I should also point out that learning to use a modern day consul controller is like learning to play the piano.

PS

If you want some reviews of games that are hilarious (even if you're not in to games) then check out Zero Punctuation. His little animations and reviews are fun on so many levels.

Somebody Is Trying To Tell Me Something

There's a reason that I believe in my heart of hearts that I'm living in the MATRIX. And somewhere there's a robot using me to charge his iPod.

Every year a movie comes out that seems to be telling me to do something. One year it was "Failure to Launch". Another year there was "40 Year Old Virgin". Etc... Now it's "Leap Year". Which is a real shame because it looks really really lame.

I have never seen a trailer to a movie that so obviously tells the entire story of the movie with so much unrepentant detail. It's like a Read and Listen audio cassette and book. I can't imagine what's left to see. I saw the whole thing in 2 mins.

It's also a shame because I really like Amy Adams... "My favorite animal is the Meerkat..." - Junebug

A Life Changing Decision

When I was little I had a very important revelation. My mother pointed out to me that if I would just actually DO the collections portion of my paper route that I would have enough money to buy ANYthing I wanted in the Lionel Playworld Newspaper Ads.

I started delivering papers because my brothers had a paper route and my parents thought that it was my job to be supportive of them. So for years, from the ages 6-11, I delivered newspapers for free. Then my brother quit and it fell on me to take over the route. Little did my parents know that they're insistence in me giving my time freely to my brothers had sorta kinda broken me. I seriously had no idea that it was something I did to make money. It just always felt like some sort of tradition that was handed down to me. Like becoming a barber because those before me had been barbers.

So when my mom told me that I could actually make money which could be used for toys and food I was confused and dumbfounded. I looked through the toy ads and spotted a Nintendo Game System. Life suddenly had meaning.

I not only bought the Nintendo but I even spent extra for the fierce and unusual robot accessory that came with it.

I became a god in my neighborhood. And I spent years in front of that system playing games like Kung Fu, Super Mario Brothers, The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Super Contra, Rushin' Attack and 3D World Runner. While listening to cool music like The Soundtrack to Labyrinth, Transformers and Chicago (I was little, what do you want from me?)

I look very fondly on those years.

I've always wondered what it would be like to join the Consul Gaming Community again. I've seen all my friends become gaming masters while I've been the awkward friend who asks questions like "why so many buttons?" or "Does up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A work on this game?" But deep down I knew it was an expensive hobby and I was afraid that I would waste SO much time. I struggle already doing the things that I want to do with my life. Would a Game Consul be flag of surrender on life?

So when I found out that PS3 now offers Netflix Streaming, on TOP of Blu-ray, I suddenly found myself justifying the expense... Like I really need one more entertainment option!

On top of that my fancy pants new girlfriend is a gamer. I mean lots of girls pretend to be gamers, probably to attract sexy unemployed men who live in their parents basement, but in her case she's for real. This would be yet another way to spend time together.

So do I do it? Do I buy a system? It's probably going to cost about 400 after games and an extra controller and another HDMI cord. Or should I save my money and invest in Life?

The Facts of Life #011

Just now as I was peeling my orange at my desk, over a trash can. I suddenly had a slip of motor skills and fumbled my juicy wedge of orange in to the days trash. I abruptly stopped and silently looked down into the trash for a second or two. My mind utterly focused in that moment, not unlike a beam of sun on an unexpecting ant.

It then occurred to me that it is THAT moment, between flub and action, from whence the magic of comedy is sweetest.

It's that split second of focused silence where you can see the individuals goofy expression - often with a mouth full of orange or the like - while they're at full stop, that they're trying to figure out in their mind if they should go in after it or not. That is the magic second of comedy. All comedy hearkens to that one moment where you, the viewer, knows what ol' flubber-monkey is thinking and they're about to define themselves one way or the other. It's brilliant...

I'll let you decide what I did.

"I name you... Darth Santa"

My friend was having issues getting a photo scanned for his family's Christmas Card this year. So he asked me to help out.


I also offered to fix the colors, because they were looking really mucky.

He was amazed how much a little color editing can make a picture look better. And he was thrilled that he knew a graphic designer who could give him free design help.

J- "Man, you can do anything, huh?"

E- "Yep, pretty much. If there's an after life and we sit around creating and changing worlds then I'm going to be one up on practically everyone."

J- "... so if I asked you to put me in this Santa suit you could do that?"

E- "Would you think I was a bad Mam'a Jam'a if I did?"

The funny thing is that it's not exactly right yet. It's like something in the skin is a little off. There's not enough noise in his skin, the shadows are too contrasty and his skin is too light, but the fact is that I like it a little creepy looking. I feel like you kinda get the sense of how the little girl probably perceives this weird tradition and everyone's enthusiasm for it.

My friend was delighted. He knows I've taken a step or two of the Mam'a Jam'a ladder. And that's all that really matters.

Runner's Delight

Sunday at 3pm. It's cold out. I'm jogging.

The last 400 meters of a 5 mile run on Bountiful Blvd ( a hellish collection of hills and slopes ). My first time I've made it without any walking at all. AND maintaining a 9.40/mile pace on top of that. Then at what seems like a too good to be true of a moment, "Home Sweet Home" by Motley Crue comes on the Nano, just as the sun pops out from behind the clouds.

I have my triumphal entry moment as I approach my car that is suitably parked in the shadow of the Bountiful LDS Temple. Feeling good. Looking good. Sporting my fancy new cold weather fitness gear, that makes me look like a Janet Jackson background dancer. Sun bouncing off the the snow and ice. 25 lbs down. 15 to go.

In that moment I felt like a piece of me had been translated, just as the city of Enoch once was... most likely it was the part of me that wanted to go to church instead of watching Worlds Craziest Sporting Accidents...

… This was a complete 180 moment to the other day when I was out running. At one point as I was running I was desperately trying to change the volume on my nano through the sleek shiny material of my running jacket breast pocket. I was of course completely oblivious to the possible meaning of my little tightening rings I was making around what I later realized probably looked like my nipple to the uninformed eye of the two beautiful women out for a jog that I was just then approaching. They flinched as I made a point to smile and wink. ( lowers head in shame )

PS
I was spastically excited as I got done running last week. I had bought all this winter running gear. As I took off my skin tight, long-sleaved running shirt I realized that while it was soaked in sweat on the outside it was absolutely bone dry on the inside!!! "Wicks away moisture" is a reality people! First man split the atom and now this. I giggle like a toddler everytime I roll around my room trying to take this fancy new technology off of my back.

The Chess World In A Buzz

I hearken to the wisdom of the prolific Bobby Fisher…

"Before a chess tournament, don't concern yourself with whether your fly is down or up... seeming unhinged or handy will inevitably work to your advantaged when time to play."

A comical and strange thing to say as perceived by most. Did you know that numerous disqualifications for indecent exposure were executed at the 1976 World Chess Tournament in Belgium the following year?

After the plague of disqualifications and one pepper spraying incident, Bobby Fischer went on to win the tournament, seemingly unchallenged.

It was later observed that Bobby's fly was up the entire tournament.